Oh yes, I did...

Well, I finally did the unthinkable. I watched Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys and, you know what, it wasn't half bad in a $1.99 sort of way. The first thing that must be said is this: forget the toys. As seems to be the case with modern horror (though I find it a stretch to call this one horror unless it appears on your CV), like in porn, the bit that everyone is watching for is saved for the end of the movie. This of course would be when the Puppet Master puppets face off against the Demonic Toys. So being, like in Freddy Vs. Jason or the remake discussed in my previous post, the film is character development and unfolding plot(god! Not that word again!) points, which could be tedious considering you're watching Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys. Hilariously though, this is what pulls the film above movies like When A Stranger Calls. The latter looked cheap, yet the budget was still an alarming 15 million. Puppet Master's measly 2 million delivered a more authentic variety of cheapness that When A Stranger Calls aspired to, yet forked over just too much dough to achieve.

The only reason to see Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys, really, is the cast, who, so desperate for a paycheck, delivers the insanely implausible dialogue as if it was the word of god. Starring Corey Feldman as a puppetmaker with a daughter who looks to be about ten years his junior, and costaring Vanessa Angel, an Abel Ferrara starlet who has had so much collagen injected into her lips that they resemble hemorrhoids (they literally fold in on themselves!), as a jealous puppet maker, the delivery is not too be missed. This is some of the best overacting that I have seen in a while. The word camp never seemed to have been uttered on set, as our actors flail about like Elizabeth Berkeley in Showgirls (yes, that fabulously). I won't write any more, as people will probably not even get this far in the review considering the subject matter, but if you want to know what alcoholism and a dozen and a half fuck ups in your career might result in, pick up this DVD as a cautionary tale.