Saturday, July 21, 2007

My afternoon with the Beckhams

Maybe it was the sun. I went to go find the new issue of Butt magazine, which has been alluding me. There's a place entirely too far from home that I go to, partially for the drive. I've made this pilgrimage each Saturday "morning" for the past three weeks, hoping to find the new, LA focused issue. No dice. This morning, however, as I entered the bookshop, I was met by a strikingly different magazine; one whose cover called out with a particular urgency.

The only other issue of W I can remember purchasing was the one with a newly brunette Cameron Diaz on the cover - but then I was at an airport. End of. And this morning, at my far off bookstore, I didn't feel the need to purchase the rag. Though I certainly leafed through it. And then I fell in love.

Cameron had maybe had 5 or so tasteful beach shots in one or two impeccable outfits. Posh + Becks, who graced the cover of this morning's mag, assault with a seemingly endless procession of near nudism. Sweaty crotches and sullied pant legs for pages and pages. 28 to be exact, all with a lurid stamina which is typically desired of our figureheads, but never actually obtained. (If this duo does poorly in America, it will be because they do actually deliver what we think we want.)

Though impressed, I still left empty handed.

On my way home I changed my mind. And this being Los Angeles, there were plenty of places to obtain this mag. I feel I should, at this point, stop to explain only a peripheral intrigue in the Beckhams. I, like many, oggled the Spice Girls paraphernalia when the took the world by storm. But who wouldn't when product labeling was a s diverse as theirs (I recall Lollipops and dolls, along side your more average CDs and Posters). And with the exception of savoring a few of those lolipops and perhaps seeing the film, Spice World, too many times (read, more than once), my mild interest ended with the rest of the globe's - with the departure of Ginger spice. I've never once picked up a tabloid that had anything to do with the Beckhams. Hell, I didn't know who David Beckham was until after Bend It Like Beckham. Yeah. I've always had a bit of a soft spot for posh, though. And I do recall breaking out into a wicked grin upon seeing her alarmingly severe gown at the Holmes/Cruise wedding.

Anyway, so I get back to my side of town and go to my neighborhood bookstore (the one I should have gone to for my Butt in the first place). I don't see the Becks on the shelves though my looking is not quite ardent. I leave and walk to the newsstand on the corner. "Sold out. That magazine was gone in a blink." The proprietor informs me. So I return to the little books store to look again, thoroughly this time. "Sorry, man. We're all out," says the younger, cuter worker when I finally ask. My feet hit the pavement. It's the heat, the chase, the photos and the dizzying intoxication of celebrity that I'm seldom privy too - save some particular, concentrated and analytically driven bursts (which typically surround Kylie Minogue).

I get in my car. I have to have that magazine. It's no longer a trashy rag; now it's a cultural phenomenon. A weighted symbol of achievement. "Oh, I have that issue." To own it is to be it. Or your act of participation in a cultural moment. Beckham fever. They're moving to Los Angeles, as everyone too well knows. That's why their now-blond heads grace this cover. This is like my mini-Woodstock cause I'm part of it. Only I can have it in my house. I head back to the initial, distant bookshop feverishly pumping the gas. I stop at another magazine shop along the way. "Oh that's long gone." My pulse rises. I think about calling ahead. Yeah, I know. My humility stops me there, thank god. I hit traffic so I take another route. One I've never been on before. It leads me to see similar sights that I've already seen but from a slightly different perspective. And ultimately I'm thrown back onto the same road. I drive past and see the stand which cradles the issue. It's still there. I pull into the back parking lot only to find it full. Full, save one handicapped parking space. Hungry, humid and wanting of that magazine, I slide into that handicapped zone and spring from my car.

It was only five dollars and easy enough. They both stare at me from the cover as I make the half-hour drive back to my air-conditioned apartment. Into a cooler, less harried terrain. I read the slight text, but it does nothing for me that the images - or more - the act of acquiring it did. I don't even really like these people, but I've got it. So what now?


Blogger Kevin Killian said...

Well done Bradford! I have been there before and you describe perfectly that feeling of needing to have something, something unworthy of one perhaps, something inane, but that humiliating journey itself, the trek through obsession ("feverishly pumping the gas") is actually itself the meaning of life, or so I sometimes feel. How beautifully you evoke those endless afternoons I have spent going from one shop to another trying to but something that doesn't really exist except in my heart or some recessed part of the brain.

PS, on aural transvestism, I've found myself lately walking down the street not to the "aura" of myself as Kylie, but in fact as Kate Bush doing Wuthering Heights with my forearm spinning around my head to mimic that repetitive, "Wuthering, wuthering, wuthering." Help! I need intervention! Best video on Youtube is one called "Craig dancing to Kate Bush." Check it out, he is the boy I was meant to be but missed somehow.

12:34 AM  
Blogger Bla said...

The Beckhams couple is pure example of the beauty's fascism. I like them, though. :)

8:21 AM  

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